


I Was There

by starlocked



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Capslock, Gen, Patton just really is clueless about sports, Platonic Lamp/Calm - Freeform, Post-Episode: Flirting with Social Anxiety, Virgil's Birthday fic, purple eyeshadow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlocked/pseuds/starlocked
Summary: Different times throughout Thomas' life when the sides encountered the other side of Anxiety's effect.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	I Was There

**Author's Note:**

> A very happy birthday to our favorite emo!

"This is bad this is bad this is bad this is-"

"Anxiety, please. Thomas did well on this test. I made sure of it," Logic rolled his eyes, hoping the assurance would shut up the annoyingly present side.

"You don't  _ know _ that, Nerd Alert," Anxiety hissed, "he was panicking pretty hard during the test.  _ I know; I was there.  _ He probably forgot everything you made him memorize. What if he fails this test and his grades never recover? What if he never gets accepted into college because of this test? What if-" 

Logic was inches from just strangling the other side, "we won't know until the teacher hands out the test. Please keep your negative thoughts to yourself!" he snapped, watching as the teacher shuffled the papers on his desk, "and anyways, Thomas is in 5th grade. I am certain no colleges look back as far as 5th grade while making admittance decisions."

"But do you know that? What if this is the test that sends Thomas spiraling into a life of failure? I don't-"

"Thomas Sanders," Anxiety was interrupted and immediately spiked when the teacher called Thomas' name and handed him the test. Thomas took a deep breath and flipped the paper over, dreading to see a sea of red ink.

"Shut up…" Anxiety hissed.

"Told you," Logic replied smugly. 

"98%? How'd I do that well?" Thomas whispered to no one in particular, flipping through to see what he'd gotten wrong. He quickly found his teacher's note that he lost a point for misspelling his name and groaned to himself, "it was a pun, doofus. What isn't funny about 'Thomas math is a Scamders'?" Thomas smiled and felt pretty proud for acing his test.

"Well done, Thomas! Next time let's not listen to Morality and avoid the self-referential puns," Logic grinned happily, secretly relieved despite his assurances to Anxiety. He looked over to the dark gloomy side and was surprised to see Anxiety smiling and his normally charcoal grey eyeshadow glowing a soft lavender and covered in glitter.

"What?" Anxiety dropped his smile for a scowl, "what are you looking at, Logic?" 

"We did it. You helped push Thomas into studying so hard for this test and he succeeded, despite his fears," Logic decided to not mention the eyeshadow, especially as it was quickly fading back to grey, "good work to you as well, Anxiety."

"I wasn't trying to help," Anxiety snapped and sunk out quickly, leaving Logic to bask in the glow of accomplishment.

* * *

"C'mon, kiddo. Eye on the ball and swing!" Morality cheered Thomas on and tried to pep him up for his next at-bat.

"I dunno, Morality, the stakes are pretty high right now. Is it really wise for Thomas to go for a hit?" Anxiety popped up, doing his best to overshadow the misguided father figment.

"Aww shucks Anxie-tee," Morality paused, waiting for the dark side to get the joke, "ya know? Cause tee ball?"

"It's not, it's baseball. Do you even like sports?" Anxiety snorted, "anyway, it's the last inning and Thomas' team is down by two points. That's bad enough, but there's already one out and three people on the bases."

"Right! If he gets on base we have a good chance of winning! We'll only be down one!"

"Steee-rike three!" The umpire called out and Thomas' teammate sulked back to the bench, leaving Thomas up to bat.

"No! Too much pressure! Two outs in the final inning and now Thomas has to get on base or lose the whole game!!!" Anxiety grew about five inches and Morality balked.

"Hey hey hey hey, calm down, kiddo!"

"I don't Do Calm!" Morality turned to watch as Thomas took a shaky step up to the plate. Thomas gulped as the other team's pitcher winked at the catcher behind him and stood ready to swing.

"Eye on the ball. Watch it.. watch it… Sw-"

"DON'T SWING!" Morality huffed as Thomas listened to Anxiety over him and let the ball pass by.

"Ball!" the umpire called.

Morality took a shaky breath, "good eye, Anxiety," Anxiety shrugged and bit at the sleeve of his hoodie as the next pitch was wound up.

"Two outs don't strikeout. Two outs don't strikeout." Anxiety muttered as the next pitch went very wide, "maybe we'll get a walk?"

"Why would we walk when we're supposed to run?" Morality asked with a note of confusion in his voice.

"Why are you helping Thomas right now if you don't even know the game?"

"That's what dads do! Sports!"

"You're ridicul- SWING NOW-" Thomas swung at the next pitch and the bat made contact with a satisfying resounding crack. Both sides watched in amazement as the ball sailed far into the outfield.

"Thomas, Run!" Morality cheered as Thomas dropped his bat and sprinted to first base.

"Run like your life depends on it!" Anxiety growled as they rounded around second base towards third. The base coach was yelling incomprehensibly but the signal was clear:  _ Keep Going _

"No way! home run?!?" Morality shook his fists in excitement.

"We're not there yet! Don't slow down and Don't Celebrate Yet," Anxiety commanded as Thomas ran down towards home plate. 

"We're going to make it!" Morality was practically glowing.

"The catcher has eyes on the ball.  **_Slide, Thomas,_ ** " Anxiety commanded again and Thomas slid into the plate as the catcher caught and tagged him with the ball. Everyone waited with bated breath for what felt like an eternal moment.

"SAFE!"

"Safe!" Anxiety about collapsed in relief.

"Touchdown! And we won the game!" Morality cheered in earnest this time as Thomas' team came out to celebrate the win and awesome play, "Anxiety, are you okay, kiddo? Those were some quick reflexes!"

"Yeah, I'm fine and I'm not your kid. Why, do you like care or something?" Anxiety sat up, pushing his hood back off his face. He felt fantastic but couldn't help trying to hide behind his dark persona. Anxiety nearly jumped a foot in the air at Morality's excited squeal.

"Ohmigosh! It looks so cool _ and sparkly _ !" Morality couldn't help but bounce up and down at the pretty purple eyeshadow on the otherwise monochromatic side.

"What?" Anxiety hissed and the eyeshadow flashed back to grey.

"No! I didn't mean to scare you kiddo. I'm really proud! And you should be too. It took quick thinking to pull that off and it was a risk," Morality hurried to explain. Anxiety almost couldn't help smiling as the purple crept back under his eyes. 

Morality wasn't sure when Anxiety left as Thomas celebrated with the rest of the team, but he almost felt sad to notice the scary side gone.

* * *

"Leave us alone, Little Side of Horrors!" Roman scoffed as Anxiety hovered in the corner of his eye.

"Suddenly, Sanders, I get the feeling you don't want Thomas to get this part," Anxiety smirked, staring the creative side down. 

"But of course I do! I'll admit my failure last time, but this will be different! As long as you don't interfere," he jabbed an accusatory finger at the dark side.

"How long have you been running lines, Princey?"

"An hour every day and the audition is tomorrow."

"Mmm doesn't sound like enough. Thomas better run them another 5 hours, just to be sure," Anxiety grimaced.

"No! Thomas needs his beauty sleep too so he looks his best on stage!" Roman huffed as Anxiety shuffled closer, "go bother someone else."

"Rehearse the scene," Anxiety grinned wickedly, "or you're straight."

"How Dare you, sir?!" Roman moaned as though physically wounded, "I know exactly who'll take care of you," he threatened.

"Trust me, you don't want him around. I'm the much nicer option right now. Run the lines. I'm waiting," Anxiety took a seat on the edge of Roman’s mind palace stage much to the other side's dismay.

"Fine, you win this time, my nemesis," Roman snapped as Thomas began reading through the lines again.

Anxiety watched with a smug grin, "you know you love me, Princey." 

"I do not! I tolerate you at best," Roman missed how Anxiety flinched at his words. He obliged the dark side for another two hours just before Thomas was too exhausted to continue without sleep. Anxiety didn't leave even as Thomas slept and was there the next morning as they arrived at the audition.

"Why aren't we reading lines again? Now is not the time to choke. Roman, this is going to be a disaster!" Anxiety accused through gritted teeth while Roman threw his hands up in frustration.

"Would you Be More Chill, backstage boogeyman? We are so close, please don't mess Thomas up now!" Roman whined, trying to push the dark side away.

"I'm not the one who choked last time. Double-check everything!" Anxiety growled and Thomas dutifully read through the audition piece another time just before being called on stage. Roman groaned but found himself pushed from behind out on stage with Thomas alone.

Roman squared his shoulders and gave the performance of a lifetime, the best he'd ever done the lines and cues. As Thomas bowed and left the stage he found Anxiety waiting in the wings to join them again, grinning softly from deep within his grey hood. The smile quickly dipped into a scowl as Anxiety noticed Roman staring at him.

"At least you didn't forget anything this time, Princey," Anxiety rolled his eyes, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"Oh shut up, shadowling. That went so well!" Roman beamed, "no thanks to you."

"We'll see."

Anxiety was a near-constant presence the next few days until Thomas got the call, "callbacks? I'll be there! Oh my gosh, thank you!" Thomas beamed. This was going to be a great opportunity and fun show to do if he could ace a callback.

"Yes! Score! Our dreams of the limelights are that much closer in reach!" Roman celebrated as Thomas bounced around his apartment, unable to sit still.

"Yeah. Good work, Princey," Anxiety congratulated him from deep within his hoodie.

"What are you still doing here? We don't need to be anxious about anything right now," Roman tried to brush the dark side away. 

"Thomas is excited and as I recall, I helped with that. So I'm gonna enjoy this victory," Anxiety smirked and Roman thought he could see a glint of light from within the hoodie.

"Are you… wearing glitter, tall dark and fearsome?" Roman questioned.

"What? No." Anxiety shook his head and his hood slipped back enough for Roman to catch a glimpse of violet eyeshadow sparkling from beneath the emo's eyes.

"Oh my Zeus, you are! Oh, that's adorable!" Roman grinned at having caught Anxiety in hiding this weird abnormality.

"Aww, you think I'm adorable, Princey? What would Patton and Logan say about that?" Virgil smirked, pulling the hood forward again.

"Padre would probably agree with me and well, I saw you flirting with Logan so don't even pretend you wouldn't like him to think you're adorable " Roman blustered, already forgetting the eyeshadow.

"Whatever you say, Princey. Good job, or whatever," Anxiety muttered before sinking out to enjoy Thomas' excitement in peace.

* * *

"One more chance at happiness... squandered. It's probably for the best…" Virgil glanced between Roman and Thomas, feeling the panic clawing its way into his lungs and making it hard to breathe. Fighting the dark thoughts of loneliness and failure and struggling to get a full breath, he stepped forward and pushed Thomas toward the cute, gay stranger. 

The resulting conversation left him stunned. Nico was really into Thomas! And Roman was grateful and happy again. 

Virgil felt the butterflies as Thomas and Nico exchanged numbers and they only grew as Thomas drove back home. Roman couldn’t stop gushing and he wanted to scream from the roof. He glanced over at Roman and if it was possible the Prince's eyes lit up more when he caught sight of Virgil’s eyeshadow.

Purple and glowing. Roman didn't even question it this time because he could feel it too.

After they sunk out from the end of Thomas' video, Virgil and Roman were both greeted by Logan and Patton in the mindscape.

"Good work, Virgil!" Logan praised, the wide grin on his face the only outward sign of his excitement.

"That was so cute!!! Oh, I can't wait until Thomas has kids he can tell that story!" Patton was absolutely glowing with excitement and happiness.

"Yes, our favorite emo really proved himself today," Roman grinned wide and for once no one could hear even the slightest bit of jealousy or sarcasm in his voice.

Virgil grinned shamelessly at all of them, "guys calm down... This is only the beginning."

"Well, it's certainly exciting!" Patton nodded, offering everyone a hug. He was delighted when Virgil was the first to accept.

"Yes, we'll see in time where Thomas' courtship leads us," Logan cautioned, "But for now it is important to celebrate victories when they come."

"Like we always have," Virgil grinned, pulling Logan and then Roman into the group hug as well.


End file.
